![]() The first few years of my single motherhood were the most difficult. I found myself just trying to survive my life of confusion. I did not understand why everything appeared so wrong in my life, even though I did my best to live a godly life. It did not make sense. I was in pure disbelief. As a woman of faith, I reminisced about the past and saw countless times when God was there. But in the present, my sufferings blocked those times of thankfulness.I desired to grow deeper in Christ, yet my actions show otherwise. Sunday worship became inconsistent and my quiet times with the Lord were sporadic. I was embarrassed of my position as recently married woman who was also now a recent single mother. Another was that I was upset at God. I did not understand why I have spent my past honoring Him in all things: working in ministry to help people in Africa, fervently reading His word and connecting with Him in prayer, and serving Him. I did not understand why my present was filled with so much hurt and suffering. God had my heart, but I could not feel His presence like I used to. I remembered the ultimate joy I had when I was first saved and other times where experienced His blessings. My heart was soft, and in a way, so pure and innocent, but my unexpected circumstance that was forced upon me demolished the opened heart I once had. My heart went astray, the Spirit became dormant inside of me. Jesus said, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7: 37-38 ESV) There came a point where I had to decide to let go of looking to the past, looking for answers, looking everywhere else but God. When I chose to drop all of those burdens, my thirst for Christ came back. My mind was more settled, my heart was given peace, and I realized that His presence never really left me. Are you thirsty? Don’t allow your present circumstance to take you back. Let it bring you through on God’s journey for you, relying on His power, love, and grace for you. When you do, you will find the Living Water……sweet and satisfying! ![]() Tears dropped onto my cheeks as I reflected on what I found out just hours earlier. I came to learn a dear friend had lied to me, straight to my face. Although the subject of the lie was so minor, this situation appeared to hurt more than other faults that have happened to me recently. It hurt more because someone close to me was involved. When you are hurt so severely by one person, it can be difficult to trust anyone else. It can be easy to close the door to your heart so that you can't be hurt again, but then you eventually find yourself in a dark place. I am choosing today to keep the door of my heart opened, knowing I may be hurt again. Why? Because I never ever want to go back to that dark place of loneliness. We are human beings and we will be hurt by those around us. When we do, it will be a reminder to us that this is not our home. This place is temporary and nothing can satisfy us, but God. Psalm 90:1 says, "Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations." When people let us down in this world, let us close our eyes and remember that we can go to God, who provides us a safe haven in our hurts. |
AuthorMelissa Brown is a strong momma who lives in Wapakoneta, Ohio. She enjoys spending time with her daughter, Zoey, and taking long naps. Posts
May 2024
|