As I sit here early this morning and at the end of this 2020 year, I can not help but be humbled and grateful for all that God provided to my family this year. He has taken care of my daughter and I more than I can comprehend. We have a warm house to live in and clean water to drink anytime we like, something that many people struggle to have without the pandemic. He has completely healed me from suffering that I dealt with for years over a marriage gone wrong, and accepting my life has a single parent. I truly did not think I could ever get to the point where I could look at scars and not an opened wound. Today, I can sit here with happy tears and look up. He, God, is the ONLY ONE that got me through.
As imperfect people we forget that our perfect can do more than us than our minds can fathom. God is going to do more in 2021 because I am choosing to let go of my insecurities trust in great things He has for my family. I know that God is ready to do “immeasurably more” in me (if I let him). I believe great things are going happen in 2021…. Yes, I believe it! I am constantly being asked, "How do you survive? When do you sleep? How do you do it?" As the breadwinner of the family, we do not think twice about picking up an extra shift or adding another job. We do not have time to complain about how tired we are. As the only parent in the home, we do not think twice about running the household as a military base. We have to keep the home in order to keep ourselves sane and our kids on schedule. And frankly, from thinking too much about how hard life can be. My response is always the same to those questions above, "Single moms have super powers." I used to respond that way as a joke, but now I have come to believe it. 2 Corithinans 12: 9 says, "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." We don't just have single mom powers, we have a power, a real power, within us. This rare power paves the way to provide us peace during our daily lives. I commend you, single mom, for the effort you do in your families, constantly and tirelessly working to keep your family as whole as possible. It is definitely not an easy feat, and many times at the end of the day we feel as if we have failed. But His power that is within us will continue to sustain us, especially during the days where we have imperfectly failed as a mom/dad duo. Wear that cape proud. You are a strong single momma! We all have a reason why we are a single parent. For some, the husband abandoned the family. For others, a tragic death caused lives to be overturned. And for some, a choice was made to split a marriage. The reasons are countless and personal. No matter the reason, there comes a time when one must move on. Specifically, I am not writing about moving on to a new man. Most importantly, we mommas need to get to the point in our lives where we are okay with looking ahead rather than looking back. Paul wrote in Philippians 3:13 "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead." Moving on doesn't mean you have forgotten what has happened, or the person who you once loved. Rather, moving on means you have chosen to focus on the good that God has planned for you in the future. As imperfect people we forget that our perfect God can do more in us than our minds can fathom. Listen to me momma: God desires to great things for you and your family. Read that again: God desires to do great things for you and within you. Accept what has happened and open your heart for God to move. He is waiting. The holidays can be a lonely time. It can also be a time where you feel like your limitations as a single mom are more prominent than other times of the year. The holiday season can quickly become a season of dread rather than joy. Stop trying to make the perfect Christmas morning. You do not need to overcompensate just because there is one of you. Remember, Jesus was born in the most non-traditional of ways. "And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn." (Luke 2:7) Your child is not lacking in forever memories because of it. Embrace the beauty of where you are during this season. Your child will remember the smiles, the traditions, and the love coming from you. Keep your head up during this holiday season. You are a strong single momma! The process of opening your heart back up after it has been closed (and protected by you) is a hard process. The fear of another potential failure of another relationship is glooming over one's heart. No one likes to fail at anything, let alone a relationships. It makes dating that much scarier.
When you get to know someone new, you must start to put your wall back down after being hurt. You desire to get to know the other person and see their wall come down, but the idea of letting your own self become vulnerable again can be overwhelming. Personally, I have to remind myself that not everyone person is out to hurt me intentionally. There are many, many beautiful people in this world who are genuinely good people. And the only way I can experience that is if I re-open my heart despite being scared. God's word says in Psalm 34:4, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears." We must choose courage when moving on. Fighting off our insecurities of what happened in the past and what can happen in the future so that we can potentially experience something beautiful is worth the risk. Healthy, good relationships are worth having and finding. You just need to choose to be courageous. |
AuthorMelissa Brown is a strong momma who lives in Wapakoneta, Ohio. She enjoys spending time with her daughter, Zoey, and taking long naps. Posts
May 2024
|